Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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