You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
