We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
