You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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