But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
