well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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