upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
