I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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