they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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