This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
