this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
