I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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