we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
