We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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