I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
