i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
