And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
