About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
