I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The air taste purple.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize