i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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