he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
