The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
