seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
