Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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