My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
