I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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