even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
