k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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