My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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