I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
