doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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