is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
