party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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