I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
