My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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