One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dicks are not precious.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
