she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
