Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My bed smells like the plague
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