I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
