Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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