she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
