I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
