So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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