I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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