News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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