Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
