6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
