In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
