At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
