she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
