So drunk its hurt
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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