5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
