You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
