I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
