yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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