that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
