Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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