white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
