put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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