my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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