I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
